Kids Tantrums, A No won’t be a Yes if you cry!

Featured

Well, I’m sure that most of the moms agree with this topic. Kids and tantrums go hand in hand. I so want to write on this because I am going through a phase where both my girls follow this! And it’s irritating at times!

We all love cuddling kids, they are little angels. But there is sometimes where these little angles turn into little devils when they throw tantrums. These are kid’s behavior which would affect their mental state and sometimes that mood would continue all day long (sometimes)

Patient Parenting:  

Well, we know, this phase is easier to tell rather than to do! When a kid throws tantrums, just be calm and try to explain why they can’t get what they want. Of course, they won’t listen to you, though. But calmly telling them with a low/normal tone would not make them more irritated.

Stop Yelling Back:

This too comes under Patient Parenting. I would like to stress upon this as I was someone who yelled back at my kids when they threw tantrums. They cry, I yell and it made the situation even worst. Stop yelling or getting into arguments! Kids learn to back answer when ‘we back answer to them when they are in an irritating mood.’ This might sound funny, but it’s a fact!

Ignore:

The only way out! Kids throw tantrums because they want something from you and you have said a no! They cry, try to mess things around the home only to get your attention (you try to stop them and they do even more.) When they realize that this is not working they would divert themselves into something else.

Laugh:

This works for my kids. I try to laugh hard while making some funny faces or voices. And they sometimes give in! Because it’s hard to control laughter while someone else is laughing so hard and eventually end up laughing. A trick that I try to use rarely and so work for me.

Give them time:

Just let them be! When they have a meltdown, let them deal with it alone. But make sure kids won’t hurt themselves, others nor engage in something that hurts him. So that they learn to deal with it and after some time, they regain their self-control.

Have a very soft tone:

Now, this is something that I still need to practice! I try to avoid talking to my daughters while they are in a meltdown phase. But there are few times, where I try to answer them (that I usually end up raising my voice and talking in a way that I did not want to)—they cry a little more because I yelled at them. Try talking to them in a very soft tone. The higher they cry, the lower your voice should be!

Kids cannot state why they have Tantrums:

Children cannot reason their Tantrums! They can hardly understand the consequences of it. So we cannot expect a 3year or a 4year to behave properly nor have a reason for their tantrums!

Check for the Trigger points:

Kid’s Tantrums surface out of nowhere! There is always something that makes them anxious or triggers them and so they let it out in the form of a tantrum or have a meltdown! If we can check and have a talk about it to them, it might work. (For me, its chocolates, Phones, Ice-cream)

Divert:

Kids have a very less concentration span! Make use of it. When you know your kid is about to throw a tantrum because you have said a No to them, make yourself ready to divert. A toy that they love, some artwork that they love to do, in the kitchen where they like to play with spoons and bowls, or just go for a little walk. Anything! That works for you! And Yes, sometimes kids won’t listen WhatSoEver! Keeping it real.

This leads us to the last point,

Don’t Give-In!

Whenever they throw a tantrum, they expect that you surrender, and IF you do things would be difficult in the future. They would know the trick that if they cry, they would get whatever they want! I am sure that most of the parents agree with this!

My kids throw tantrums for Chocolates, Ice cream, and Phones. Sometimes I give them, but it’s just a NO! And when I say no, they start! Yes, it is difficult to handle them while they cry but you know what is best for them and you gotta do even if they cry!

Patient Parenting is something I practice and let me tell you, I sometimes lose my cool (it is fine, we are learning too.) Stop Yelling Back, you yelling back is giving your child an idea to give back answers to you! And this brings us to Ignore when we ignore their tantrums they would know that this trick won’t work they would keep quiet. Laugh, when you start laughing in front of your kid for no reason they would eventually laugh too. If they don’t want to come to you then Give Them Time! The more you talk loud, the more they would disobey so Keep your Tone Low. Because they are kids and Cannot state a reason for their Tantrums. But we should always check for Trigger points that led to the start of this. Kids Divert so easily. So we could be ready with something that might interest them.

Note: All these points’ works for me (Sometimes) they are kids and they want to do what they want to do, anyway! And sometimes they just don’t listen. We cannot expect All Good behavior from them. They would hardly have any idea about it. I am sure that we were as crazy as our kids (fun fact)

Kids are kids! They cry, they throw tantrums, they throw things, they say a no when you tell something, they are naughty, they are mischievous, and they fight with siblings and get along with them in minutes. Every day is a new surprise for us. They learn and we learn. They grow

They Fight, They laugh, They Hug!

Love, 

Sadvika Kylash.

Momlifeandlifestyle

Happiness, you come to me! I shall wait!

Featured

Firstly I would like to thank Ruchi and Dipika for giving me this opportunity to take part in the #SpeakEasyBloggingChallange. Here is my take on the term Happiness. Hope you all like it. If you do, please Like, Share, and Comment down below.

Coming back to the topic,

The idea of happiness is different for everyone. But here are a few points that I would like to stress upon. Guys, continue reading I am sure you will like it.

Starting with this quote:

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”― Albert Camus

Allow the life to flow: 

As we ‘look’ for happiness we would often get disappointed with the small idea of ‘what happiness is for you then.’ We should let life going in a ‘flow state’ by being busy and occupied with the things/activates that matter.

We often stick to one event that has not worked our way and would lose our concentration as well as interest in performing other important tasks. This would make us less motivated and disappointed. It is to remember that our opinion about ‘Happiness’ changes from time to time!

Hence, instead of searching for happiness like everywhere, let the life flow!

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

  • Happiness is not always about yourself:

I strongly agree with this quote. Life is not about being selfish or constantly chasing things that you want. But when you pause and think for a while of your family/your partner/children anyone you like, for that matter. You would be willing to do anything for them. (Yes, of course, something which is in your limits)

Let us assume, that you got your dream job away from your hometown (Yes you worked hard and deserve the success) but same time you would be sad for going far from them. And your family would be happy for you have to get what you wanted or worked hard for. This is when you realize that despite your loved one being sad for you going far from them, they are happy for you! “Happiness is not always alone

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.― Dalai Lama XIV

  • Don’t limit your idea of happiness over life events:

When you try to overestimate happiness over whatever is happening in your life, leads to disappointment. Sometimes, you often don’t get what we wanted and start rejecting things that have not worked your way. You would put in fewer efforts to understand or like because it was not something that you wanted. But as they say, everything happens for a reason! Yes maybe! You would eventually start adapting, accepting, and liking things or challenges life throws at you!

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”― Abraham Lincoln

  • State of mind that matters:

Nobody’s life is perfect! We all have our shares of ups and downs. And when sometimes things don’t work your way, you would be disappointed. Yes, agreed. But the question is how long are you going to be like that..?!

Life is way beyond that one particular life event that has made you disappointed. This is why a state of mind matters. It is You who would decide whether to be sad and constantly think over what has happened or would you rather let it go and get on with life, doing things that would serve the purpose!

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.― Mahatma Gandhi

  • Having memories that bring you joy:

Memories always bring you joy no matter where you are and what are you up to. People who you like will always bring a smile on your face. Memories are something that would pull you out from any situation that you are in. Memories are the ultimate happiness. Having good memories is the ultimate reaction to how you be with people. When you think good, say good, and do good, people would always be there for you!

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
  • Happiness is also in achieving small little things:

I, you, everyone! Dream big. Yes, the ultimate goal is to dream big and work towards achieving it. But happiness also includes small little things that we often ignore or don’t appreciate as much as it should be. Those things matter a lot.

Achieving big is something that would take time, need consistency and dedication. But same time, we all must be having small things that we have accomplished in day to day life, which needs to be acknowledged. For instance, let’s say for me, having a blog post published at a said time or number of blog posts that I wanted to publish in a week, having to fit into an old outfit (I’m sure most of you all would agree), doing everything on your to-do list, having your day pass on without your child’s tantrums (which is rare, though) and so on…

Sometimes it is better we shift away from our thoughts about happiness and work on things, people, or relationships that would ultimately bring happiness to you!

So, instead of constantly searching for happiness ‘let the life flow’ and always remember the fact that ‘happiness is not always about you’ don’t make the mistake of ‘limiting your ideas about happiness over life events.’ It is always said that you are what you think and it is ultimately ‘state of mind that matters. Having people around you who you love gets you to ‘having joyful memories that would bring happiness.’ And lastly, happiness is not always about having a big house, cars, or properties but ‘happiness is also in achieving small little things.’

This blog post is written for #SpeakEasyChallangeforRuchiNDips  

#SpeakEasyWithRuchiNDips

Do follow me on my Instagram,

Momlifeandlifestyle

Do follow me on my social media.